Networking- It's important for leaders too

What is it?
Well it is finding someone who:
-does what you want to do
-where you want to do it
-you have some personal connection with them

Why is it important for leaders?
Well, in order to gain the desired leadership position it often requires networking. Through connections you have with other people you will be able to find the leadership position that you can succeed at. Once you have the position you'd like, networking is still essential to leaders. This is because leaders can not lead unless they have someone to lead. Relationships are so valuable to leaders and networking allows leaders to gain those relationships and then use them to communicate ideas to. So, in order to be the best leader...Network!

Remember their name:

I am able to influence others as a leader because I know the people whom I've built relationships with. Over the years, I have learned to become very good at remembering peoples' names. When others hear their name being said, they feel as though that person knows them and cares to remember. This is a powerful effect that allows me to influence others. Influencing others and remembering names is essential in networking when first building those relationships.

 

Positive effects:

One of my current leadership roles is as a councilor in my relief society presidency. Networking has had a positive effect for my in my leadership role. I have made a strong effort to get to know all the ladies, remember their names, and build relationships with them. As a result, there is a greater unity and they feel comfortable coming to me for help. Service allows me to fulfill my calling and leadership role. There has been a positive effect from my networking.

 

So how can you be better at networking?

Ethical Leadership: It's based on who we are and what we believe in

Ethical Scenario:
So allow me to give you a scenario and you decide what is ethical...
A friend and you are traveling along a road. Your friend is driving, while you've got shot gun. The speed limit on the road is 35 mph, but your friend is cruising at 50 mph. Well, your friend crashes into another car and kills the other driver. The police respond to the scene and ask for your witness report of what happened. How fast do you tell the police officer your friend was driving?
The American culture, we often say around 45 to 50 mph. In our culture it is more common that we believe in honesty. However, in Asian cultures they more commonly say 35 mph. The Asian culture is focused more around loyalty. Loyalty to your friend.

Real Life Scenario:
So now allow me to give you another scenario, one that happened to me.
You are a student body officer and taking the hardest class in your high school, IB Physics. It's during your junior year when grades really matter for when you apply to college. The class is so hard that you, with a 3.9 GPA, are failing the class. While first semester you pulled off a C, the second semester final comes around and you have a D. You sit next to your best friend, Sally (not her real name), in the class and she is doing even worse than you. So on the day of the final, the teacher passes out the test & you are struggling. While only 50% of the way through, Sally is already done, in fact she's the first one. She sits back down and while you are working on a problem, she tells you the answer. You check the answer she gave you and it is right, what do you do?! Eventually you finish the final and it is lunch time. You both head to the library during lunch to study for the next final. While in the library you hear her whisper to another classmate about how she can't believe they were both able to pull off cheating on the final, what do you do?!
My Response: Well, I'll tell you what I did do. When she told me the answer, I checked the answer and she was right. So, I put that answer down on my test. I figured I was smart enough to know the concept and know that was the right answer I would've gotten to eventually. I then whispered back that I did not want her to tell me any more answers. Then, when I heard she'd cheated I told my teacher. My teacher told me that she had an F in the class, yet Sally had been the highest scorer on the final. Sally had only missed one question. She got questioned by the principle, but no evidence was found to hold her accountable. Sally and I were no longer friends.
Reflection: I was a leader in my high school. I was in charge of all the assemblies and running for student body president at the time. Everyone in high school knew me as 'the mormon'. Thus, my actions were watched. I believe how I handled this situation show some of my key values. First, I value integrity and honesty over loyalty. That is why I told  the truth to my teacher about my best friend. It also show I value courage and independence. I was courageous to stand up for my beliefs despite the consequences of losing a friend. I was independent enough to be okay without a friend. I valued my family and spirituality more than a friendship. Thus, my religion and my family taught me to always be honest. That I was and in the end, I still have my family and religion. These are my values that are seen through that scenario.
Consequences: My choice resulted in me not having that friendship. As one of the few Mormons, I did not party and did not have many other friends. I had a lonely senior year. However, I was blessed to have the opportunity to grow as a leader and spiritually as Laurel Class President. I was also elected to be Student Body President. Another consequence was that I scored low on my final, since I didn't ask Sally for more of the answers. However, I was blessed to have an ACT score that raised 8 points from the first test to the second. Thus, I was able to still make it into BYU despite my lower GPA. There are consequences to all the ethical choices we make, but what consequences you would rather have reflect your values.

My values:

Courageous:
The confidence to act in accordance with one's beliefs.
Independence:
Freedom from the support or approval of others.
Integrity:
Being truthful and honest in all actions.
Family:
Those who love me unconditionally. Bob, Janet, Rob, Diana, Julia, and Matthew Hild.
Joy:
The emotion of delight and happiness caused by something of exceptional goodness.
Spirituality:
The state or quality of being dedicated to God.
Kindness:
The state of being considerate and helpful.
Influence:
The power of a person to affect the action, behavior, or opinions of others.

My Mission Statement:

I have the courage to be independent in my opinions and beliefs, but do not waiver. I conduct myself with integrity, that others may be able to trust and respect me. My family members are the most important people in my life. I know that my true joy is dependent upon my own spirituality and kindness to others. As I show kindness to those around me I hope to be able to influence them.

So what do you value? What influences your ethical decisions?

Strengths and weaknesses (well the latter I don't have)

Okay, so maybe I do have weaknesses...humility maybe? haha just kidding. But here are my weaknesses as a leader...

 Stubborn with an ‘I’m right’ attitude

Don’t delegate and give responsibilities

Struggle trusting others, think I can do job better

Too caring and emotional in decision making

Too considerate that can’t please everyone and don’t make the best decision for group

Don’t take risks

Ether 12:27 "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weaknesses that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

I am a firm believer that all weakenesses can be made strong, thus my strengths are my weakenesses from a different perspective....
    willing to vocalize and share ideas
    compassionate and caring about people
    honest, moral and integrity: trustworthy
    strong character that can lead by example
    kind and considerate
    outgoing, enthusiastic, and sociable
    bring the best out of others
    able to stay calm, level-headed and cool during a crisis
    Humorous: able to revlieve stress
    Maturity

I firmly believe that I was given these strengths for a reason. The reason being my family. As the oldest child of five, I have a great leadership responsibility in my family. Thus, I believe I was given these strengths for them. For example, I am able to always remain calm, no matter the crisis or fight. As a result, I am able to be a peacekeeper amongst the youngins. This is a strength only my dad and I have. Since he is at work during the day while I am at home with the family, it is a blessing that I have this strength. Another strength that I believe I have been blessed is my morals and integrity. I have never felt a need to stray from the gospel standards. As a result, I have been able to be a strong example for my siblings to follow. We each have our own strengths we have been blessed with for a specific reason. Over time, we learn the purpose of each of these strengths and how they bless our lives as well as others.


So what are you weaknesses? & How can they become strengths?

Motivating Others- "We can do this the easy way or the hard way"

I hate getting shots. Yes, me, an eighteen year old at BYU, still has a fear of shots...yikes. Well, this fear of mine has been a part of me since my birth. So, allow me to tell you about one experience getting a shot. I was about nine years old at the time of this incident. Waiting in the doctor's room with my mom I was growing increasingly more nervous for what was about to come. It felt like forever before a nurse walked into the room with a shot in hand. I flipped out. I began running away from the nurse. This meant I was running in circles around the little room. Finally the nurse yelled at me, "we can do this the easy way or the hard way". I stopped for a moment and she stabbed me with the needle.

So, "we can do this the easy way or the hard way". That's one way to motivate a child, right? I would have preferred to hear about all the treats I'd receive if I'd sit still. However, everyone has their different motivation techniques. So let's look at a few...

Marilyn Monroe- Charismatic. Although known for her promiscuity, I prefer to look at her ability to motive others as charisma. With such a dazzling and captivating personality, she was able to influence others to do as she wished. Her charm was a motivating technique. This is an effective style, but does has its limitations. It would not be appropriate or effective in a professional environment when those following the leader seek credibility.


Sarah Palin- An example of poor motivation techniques. Clearly if she was really effective in motivating others she would have been more successful in the presidential elections. She was ineffective because she did not establish political credibility with her audience. People are not going to do what she says if they don't trust her.

These are a few of the leaders that visited our leadership lab this Halloween...& how they motivated others.

Decision Making- an indecisive person's nightmare

Decision Making: A process, not an event.

So what is the process? Well, just remember the 6 C's:
Construct: a clear picture of what must be decided
Compile: a list of requirements
Collect: information on alternatives that meet requirements
Compare: alternatives that meet requirements
Consider: what might go wrong
Commit: decide and follow through

Now that you know the process, allow me to walk you through an example in my own life.
One of my leadership positions is as a councilor in the relief society presidency of my ward. A problem we have noticed is our ladies are suffering from a low self-esteem with the difficult change from moving to college this freshman year. So, I needed to decide what to do to help them.
Construct: What to do to best serve the chicas in my ward in order to help them understand their individual, divine worth.
Compile: Needs to help everyone, can be completed in a timely manner, focuses on their divine worth, strengthens their relationship with the Lord, and makes difference :)
Collect: Send secret compliments to the individuals, stop by each door and bond, notice divine attributes of each girl, teach a lesson on divine worth, and plan activities on the principle
Compare: While compliments are always nice, they do not have a lasting impact. They also focus on the physical qualities of the girls, instead of the more important divine gifts we are each blessed with. Thus, noticing and recognizing them for their individual talents and specialties will be more beneficial. By teaching a lesson the lovely ladies may learn something and feel the spirit, but it'll only carry with them for the next week. However, if we also keep reiterating the principle in future activities it may be more impactful.
Consider: One thing that could go wrong is that girls are not recognized equally. This would be detrimental to what I am trying to achieve. Another thing would be that the chicas aren't receptive to my efforts and still feel insecure and out of place.
Commit: I will commit to recognizing each girl's divinely given gifts by secretly giving them notes over time. I will also study the principles of individual worth and divine potential to be able to teach it in a lesson, as well as relate it to each Sunday's lesson. This I will commit to.

Well, then why isn't everyone making decisions so easily?
Problems: people encounter when making decisions is that they play it safe, are afraid of influence, caught up in the thick of thin things, seek approval, begin without enough information, and they don't know what they want.

So what decisions do you need to make?

Time Management- Just 24 hours a day, how will you spend them?

The To-Do list of Time Management:

1. Change attitude: Instead of juggling so many different tasks within an allotted time, orchestrate them. Allow yourself to multi-task and have them all go together.
For me, juggling is when I have my calling, friends, studies, and cleaning. However, orchestrating is when I study with friends, clean my room with my roommate, and fulfill my calling by bonding with the relief society during study sessions and other socializing. This is how I orchestrate my life instead of juggling it.

2. Check motives: Why is a bee praised, while a mosquito is swatted? Although they both sting, bees do it for the purpose of self-defense, while the mosquito does it for the selfish purpose of sucking blood.
For me, I need to check whether the motive of my actions serve a righteous purpose or not. In the past 48 hours, things I've done with a good motive are studying, cleaning, go to class, relief society presidency meeting, and visit with friends. Things I've done that have not served a beneficial purpose would be spending time on facebook, searching online at apartments, and too much socializing.

3. Simplify: Don't get caught in the thick of thin things
For me, I believe I am good at mastering this element of time management. My personality is not a perfectionist and I do not spend to much time getting bogged down in trivial details. As a result, I am efficient with my time and am less stressed.

4. Intentional & Accountable: Be intentional with your actions and hold yourself accountable.
For me, well I'm not really sure how to be more intentional with my actions. As a student I go to classes and then study. Thus, my intention is to do well in school and I am successful at this because I do go to class and study. I am held accountable by my final grade.

My vision (as stated at the beginning of my blogging): To live a life that will inspire my family and those I serve and love to follow Christ that I may be able to spend the next life with them.

In order to achieve my vision I need to utilize my time wisely. After evaluating my time management... I naturally created goals to improve it:
- To not be on the computer (non-academically) for more than 5 minutes at a given time, but I may take several computer breaks while studying.
- I will complete my studies that are due the next day in the library where I know I can be efficient. When I do this I won't bring my laptop, so that I will be more productive in my reading without getting distracted by the computer. I'll also bring snacks and listen to music to liven the experience :)

By creating goals for time management centered around efficient studying, I will have allowed myself more time for friendships, family, and service.

Video: Check out the following video about how the Killer's singer, Brandon Flowers, has chosen to spend his time now as a father... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PF0h7oqUEQ

Time management is not about managing time, but managing ourselves within the time.

So how will you manage yourself?

Teamwork- Its all about relationships

Tom Holmoe, BYU Athletic Director and three time superbowl winner, spoke to our class today on teamwork. He started off stating to us that teamwork is all about relationships. I thought this was interesting considering that the word 'teamwork' bring to mind images of the the football team....and he's telling us that the most important thing about that big group of sweaty, masculine boys is relationships. Well, by the end of his lecture I realized he was right...and here's why.

There are two types of people in the world: Fire fighters and Fire lighters. Fire fighters are those that throw cold water on others' fires. Fire lighters are those that go out of their way to build others' fires. Their fire being their passion, enthusiasm, confidence in life.

There are many firelighters in my life, but I'd like to tell you about a few of them...
Cooper- A fellow student at BYU, I met Cooper at the first stake dance of the school year. Ever since I have been so impressed with him and his ability to be a fire lighter. When walking around campus together, he will stop to talk to everyone. And I mean everyone. He knows them all by name and is able to ask personal questions about their life and leave them with a smile on their faces. Not only does he know everyone, but everyone truely considers Cooper their friend. When you're with him he will laugh at every joke you say. He'll honestly compliment you and care about how you are doing. His joy and enthusiasm is contagious, thus everyone wants to be around him. And when they leave him, they leave with a smile on their face and their fire light a little bit more. 

My mommasita- I believe my mom to be the most influential fire lighter in my life, naturally. There have been numerous instances where I have come to mom with some sort of silly drama, concern, or problem and she has helped build me up and send me on my way to success. For example, in the morning I would be up at 4:50 a.m. for seminary to find a note on the counter reading "Have a great day! I love you, Mom". Also, she has a few key firelighting phases that she applies to my various upsetting situations: "Her behavior is a result of her own insecurity", "You are just a confident, well rounded person I am so impressed with", "there's a jack for every jill", and "it only takes one guy".

Donald Crouch- When James Earl Jones' dad left at a young age, he and his mom lived with his grandparents. They moved around a lot and he had a very unstable childhood. As a result, James had a speech impediment and refused to ever talk, becoming mute. As a result, he loved to write poetry as a way to vocalize his thoughts. One day his high school english teacher, Proffesor Crouch, announced in front of the class that there was no way that the poem could be written by James with his speech impediment. James was furious to be accused of cheating and not being the owner of his works. So Professor Crouch challenged him to come recite the poem in front of the class from memory. James Earl Gray did just that without even the slightest stutter. James Earl Jones, today, is known for his voice as darth vader, mufasa, and on CNN.

There was a study conducted that tested how long individuals could keep their foot in a bucket of ice water. They found the the average person can tolerate pain twice as long when they're with someone. With that said check out this video from Facing the Giants...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vB59PkB0eQ

With fire lighters in our life, we can endure twice as much. By being a fire lighter, we can help others endure twice as much.

I plan to be a fire lighter. With my calling being a councilor in the relief society presidency I am in a position of leadership where I can serve and influence others. I am specificly set apart with a blessing to be able to receive spiritual revelation for the lovely ladies. Thus, I can use this inspiration to help them. I plan to pray for them every night. I keep them in my thoughts always, especially those whom I am prompted to help. In this case, I am simply a fire lighter in the Lord's hands and I can't wait to see what all he will have me do. I love this opportunity to be a fire lighter!

So what will you be, a fire fighter or fire lighter? How?


5 Dysfunctions of a Team
1. Absence of trust: To understand this concept we played a game. In the game, we had to choose X or Y on each turn. If everyone chose Y then we got 1 point each and if everyone chose X we each lost 1 point. There were other scores available inbetween for a variation of Xs and Ys within the group. The group couldn't communicate before each choice. I chose Y each time in hopes that all my teammates would do the same and we'd all win. However, Jenny was the only other one consistantly choosing Y. As a result I was loosing. Then, Macy allowed us to communicate as a team before the round that would be worth 100 points. Naturally, our team chose to each do Y. However, I raised an X instead resulting in me earning 100 points and the rest loosing 300 points each. Everyone was shocked. However, after I had willing took all those hits raising Y waiting for my teammates to join me and they never did...I didn't trust them and was ready to win for once. There was no trust within our group which is why there was never a round of everyone choosing Y.
2. Fear of Conflict: The most important team I am a member of is my family. In my family, my conflict management style is avoidance; I have a fear of conflict. Specifically, with my mother. However, my mom likes to talk everything out; she likes to fully work through a conflict. As a result, my fear of conflict and her desire to work through conflict are not compatable. I usually have to overcome my fear of conflict and solve the problem with her. This is healthier for our relationship.
3. Lack of Commitment: A team that I love and hold dearly to my heart is my former Laurel class. During my first year as a Laurel, I had not completed any of the necessary project or values to earn my Personal Progress medallion. I was not committed to the program because I felt I was already going to seminary, three hours of church, mutual, and was very active in the church and following the standards, so I didn't need to do the program. However, shortly after I turned seventeen I became Laurel Class President. Once I became President I felt it was important for me to complete the program in order to encourage other girls to. This caused me to become committed. As a result, I earned my Personal Progress Medallion and watched as other Laurels worked towards completing theirs.
4. Avoidance of Accountability: As ASB President I was in several different teams throughout the year to plan various events. My greatest weaknesses is that I don't hold others accountable for what they are asked to do for the project. I avoid hold others accountable. The result is often me completing their tasks. I get frustrated. I am overwhelmed. Thus, the end product is not as succesful. A specific example is a girl whom I had asked to order props for the pep assembly. I gave her plenty of time to do this. On the last possible day to order them I noticed she still hadn't done it. So, I went ahead and ordered them for her. Due to my rushed and frazzled state we did not have the appropriate number of props of even the best ones available. I should've held her accountable to what she had been asked to do.
5. Inattention to Result: For the past couple of christmas's I have worked as a seller for Nordstrom. We consider the sellers in our department to be a sales team. Although our manager would like to think we are all working towards a common goal of increasing the sales for our department, we actually our inattentive to that result. Instead, each seller is soley focused on their personal sales. With our salaries being commision based upon our total sales, we are each attentive to our individual results. This is never as successful as working as a team to sell a person clothing from the various brands of the department (as each seller has their favorite brands). Also, if one person has too many customers another seller who isn't helping anyone yet could give them more attention and have more success for the whole department. This is an example of how inattention to a result hinders our sales team.

What will you do to make sure your team doesn't experience these dysfunctions?